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Feb. 27th, 2009 @ 02:31 pm This sucks...
Mr. Banapoor passed away this morning at around 4am.
I never got to say goodbye.
He didn't know much english.
I don't know much persian.
The only thing we would ever say to each other?
"I love you!"
I'll never get to see his smiling face again.
I'll never get to hug him and kiss both his cheeks.
I was going to visit him today after class.
I was too late.
I feel like I let him down.
I was hoping he would hold on until I got to see him.
I should have gone when mom said he wasn't doing too well.
Why couldn't I have just gone?!
I'm so selfish.
I should have gone.
I hate myself.
I'm going to lose it at the Prayer Meeting tonight.
I just know it.
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Aug. 28th, 2008 @ 11:15 am Bored out of my mind...
So I'm sitting here at BCC waiting for my class to begin. At 12.15. This is going to be a long hour. I wish there were people here that I knew. LOL. I'm just sitting at the tables and surfing the net. It's weird because my laptop hasn't the best connection when sitting at one table, but if I'm sitting at the other, just a couple feet away, it's faster than it is at home. Hmm...interesting. This table's in the sun but it's keeping me sane. I wish there was something I had to do. But I've actually done all my stuff. Coming up with a paper topic for US History and finding a couple sources is more of a 'home' thing to do. Plus I don't want to do it right now because it's not due until next Wednesday. We don't have school Monday because of Labor Day, or something like that, so I'll probably just do it then. OMG I'm so bored this entry is pointless. I think I might just go to Myspace and play TypeRacer and improve my typing speed. It's at about 65wpm right now. I don't know how accurate that is because I have to read a quote or a lyric or something from somewhere, they give it to you. It's not the same as listening to someone talk and typing that. Also it is way too strict on punctuation. If you don't capitalize a letter, or put a coma where it should be. It wont let you continue. And it's pretty slow when I try to delete it. I guess every application on there has it's flaws. Ok this is pretty pointless and a waste of peoples space on here so I'm just gonna get off and type lol. Later peeps.
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Aug. 15th, 2007 @ 06:16 pm Hot Rod - Cool Beans
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Jul. 18th, 2007 @ 01:24 pm (no subject)
I miss my sister.
I didn't think I'd miss her this much.
It sucked yesterday...having my mom come home. Without her.

I missed greeting her with a usual, "hey loser!" and having her say the same back to me.
I'm glad she called last night.
I hope this time goes by quickly.
But then she'll just be moving to Orlando.
Boo on lives going in different directions.



You're nuts!!!
You're double nuts!!!
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May. 30th, 2007 @ 01:56 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: myspace playlist
So...there hasn't been too much to write about lately...I guess.

I wish I didnt have to dig deep into my soul to write something amazing. I wish I could just...write. I want to be able to write down my feelings and experiences without having to stop and think back to what actually happened. I don't even know why I'm writing this...I'm supposed to be writing Heather!!!

[[I know you read this....I got my contacts today! I didn't get colors...too expensive :[ ]]

Anyways...there are so many good songs out there. I wish I could have them all on my MySpace Playlist...India.Aire has some amazing uplifting songs. I officially <3 her. She's so happy with herself the way she is, I wish I could be like that, while also trying to better myself...for myself. To be healthy. Not to be //hott\\, and not to have people think I am beautiful on the outside, but for me to know I am beautiful in AND out...

Boo on self-pity.

I miss my friends from high school...and Gainesville :]

Random thoughts are flowing in and out of my mind....cant.type.fast.enough....I'm out.
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May. 9th, 2007 @ 02:24 pm Guess who I love?!?!
Current Mood: cheerful
ANDREA MICHELLE BURLINGAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


<3...I love thee...<3

Hey p.s. what'd you get in Houts? He gave me a B. I don't know how...he loves us. Tee Hee! I'm grateful for it though...those last 2 tests....bleh!
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Feb. 20th, 2007 @ 05:00 pm Colbie Caillat and Jason Reeves - Droplets
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Jan. 26th, 2007 @ 10:17 am ....
I am neither happy nor sad to report that it is over. Never again will I see his smile. Never again will I kiss his soft sweet lips. Never again will I anxiously await cuddling with him. Never again will I come home from work to see him sitting on my front porch, waiting for me to come home. I am left alone to do well in school, and to find someone who will love me and be able to take care of my needs, as he so honestly put it. In some ways I think it's a good thing. In other ways, I know it is not. He was my first everything; as I was his first real everything. He really did love me. He confessed that he started out not loving me, but I got to him. That's very shitty of him to have even done, but I like to think that me, being the way that I am, brought him to love. To give his whole heart to someone, and to push himself to try to do well for the love of his girlfriend. He thought I would stop loving him. So he did his best up there. Now he is giving me up. Telling me to go on with my life, forget about him, and he will try to do the same. That came as a huge shock to me. We promised each other we would never do that. I did so much for him; nobody knows the extent to which I went for him every day. I guess it was never meant to be. He will never forget me, and I will never forget him. I want him to become rich and famous so that I can tell all my friends that they were wrong about him; and that I even had the pleasure of being loved by him. He is a great guy and I was the only one who saw that. I think my having faith in him helped him a lot. I'd pray for him every day to become a better person and want to become a better person. I don't think it's a joke this time. He tried doing that when he first went away, but I wasn't falling for it. He was just testing me to see if I still loved him. I love him now, but I find it hard to still be IN love with him. Those are two very different things. I believe that this will all turn out for the best. It's not meant to be, I guess. I will never stop sending him letters though. Forever will my hand be writing. Forever will I remember this man who said I was beautiful every chance he got, and when he said something stupid, he would drive over to apologize in person. I hope he will always remember me. For I shall never forget him.
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Jan. 19th, 2007 @ 09:41 am wow...
Current Location: house
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Yahoo! Radio-MoneyMaker
I'm happy to report that I forgot January 14th. Well...I didn't forget anything about that day two years ago, I just didn't dwell on it like I did last year. I'm pretty proud of myself. I think it might have had something to do with the fact that I was kinda busy that day. Sunday. We had company over and I couldn't cry in my room all by myself wishing it never happened. Then we went and saw a movie, and it took my mind off of things. The 13th and the 15th is when I actually thought about it. But I'm glad that it didn't ruin my whole week like last year. I couldn't even tell anyone last year at Publix when they asked me what was wrong. I just told them it was nothing and went on with work [[after being in the bathroom for about 15 minutes trying to stop myself from crying]]. Enough with the sad stuff. I'm over being sad all the time. I'm a pro at it by now.

So anyways...on to the present/future. This man at mom's work, Fred, just moved back down here from Boston with his wife and 4 great kids. Belinda, Elizabeth, David, Emily, and Rachel. Belinda was in a skiing accident and broke both her arms, and being the awesome person that I am, I am driving the kids and her around and helping her do stuff she can't do now. I got there yesterday at around 1pm and they were so excited to get out of the house! We went to Bizarro's for lunch, then walked to Surf Style and Elizabeth bought a bathing suit while the other kids hung out at the beach. Then when she finally found one that she liked, she met them on the beach. Belinda and I went to my BCC to see if she could get Elizabeth into Dual Enrollment for French 2, because apparently we're really dumb down here or something. Nothing compared to the school's up there, which I can believe. After we found out that it was too late to enroll her we went to Wal*Mart so she could get groceries. She was pissing me off! She kept trying to get the stuff herself! Bless her heart. She doesn't like asking people for help, just like I was. I literally told her, "Stop trying to get everything! Tell me what you want, point at it or something, and I will get it!" lol. She started laughing real hard. She's totally cool. Then we went and picked the kids up from the beach. It had gotten cold and they were wet so they chilled in Starbucks until we got there. I felt so bad, they were freezing. lol. Then I took them home. She was so grateful. But I totally understand. You're helpless and it's nice to have someone help you. Granted I am getting paid, very well, but still, it sucks. I only had my one arm casted and I couldn't do anything! I can only imagine how she does anything. It must suck real bad. Today I woke up at 6am to take the kids to school. They go to Covenant Presb. Church School. Right by Kevin and Jason's old house. [[did I mention they live beachside? that was a lovely 45 minute drive. with 4 kids in the civic. lol]] It was weird being back there after not having gone to their house for so long. It's been like...wow..3 years? Yeah cuz we graduated in '03 and I'm sure I didn't go there during the summer. lol. But yeah, then I gotta go back to Belinda's at around 1, maybe earlier, cuz she has PT at 2pm. Maybe something earlier before that. Then pick the kids up at 3. I'm gonna be a soccer mom for a lil while I guess. Don't laugh...got the van and everything. lol. It's great. Well...I guess that was a long enough entry to hold everyone over for a while. and if not...too bad. get over it. hehe. Love to all and hope everyone's well. MUAH!
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Jan. 11th, 2007 @ 03:34 pm Sad times call for rambling....
Current Mood: sad
So it's been almost a week since my friend Corey's younger brother Shane, along with two other teens, Ryan Popovich and Kassadi Pullins, were killed in a motorbike accident. I've been to the accident site atleast 3 times now and every time I find myself wishing I had known him better. I didn't know him personally but I knew for a fact that he was funny, smart, and the life of the party. And he brought his backpack everywhere he went! I met him once at my friend Nathaniel's birthday party up in Gainesville. He had his backpack. I saw him and Corey at Best Buy just a couple weeks ago. He had his backpack. I see pictures of him on FaceBook. He had his backpack. It saddens me to see something like this happen and hit one of my friends as hard as it has. Every time I think about this event it makes me cry. Not only because this has happened to somebody somewhat close to me, but it makes me think of what I would do if I lost my sister. She is the best friend I've ever had and if I lost her in some stupid accident I don't know what I would do. I really hope Corey is ok. I know he drinks and just hope that he isn't drinking to take away the pain of losing his best friend. That's what they were. They loved each other so much. They did everything they possibly could together. They were like me and Fere, only boys.
Why did they think it would be a good idea to go riding around on bikes that weren't meant for the street at 3 o'clock in the morning?! Speeding and doing stunts. I know they had been drinking. I don't even have to wait for the test results to come back. It was a birthday party for Kassadi. She would have turned 17 on Monday. The accident was late Friday night early Saturday morning. The worst part is that Fere and I were coming back from the movies that night and we got home around 1:30 or 2am. If only I had psychic powers I would have prevented it from happening. If only...
I just want everyone to know that I love them. No matter who you are. I love you. No hate here. Even to those people who have done me wrong, who cares? I'm over it. I don't have the time or patience in my life to dislike people. Just like Amy said, "I like living life." and living life is not hating people. It's going out there and doing what you want to do. [[safely I might add.]]
I hope anyone involved in this situation gets through this process safely and is able to continue going on. Not forgetting them, never forgetting them, but not grieving for them the rest of their own lives. I guess that's all I can bare to write for now. My prayers go out to the families and friends of these 3 beautiful young teenagers. Who were taken way before their time. God knows what He wants, and He needed them up there. I like to think that Heaven was getting boring and needed someone who knew how to tell a good joke. That's why He took them. They're being taken care of. Love to all.

*I wish I had a Time-Turner* [[All you Harry Potter freaks know why]]
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Jan. 2nd, 2007 @ 11:55 am I love this song...
Current Location: Gville!
Current Music: Dixie Chicks-Not ready to make nice
"Not Ready To Make Nice"

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting
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Dec. 19th, 2006 @ 12:46 pm (no subject)
Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle.
But you may be ready in a couple of years.
You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment.
And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.




Very Well-Rounded



You have:
62% SCIENTIFIC INTUITION and
70% EMOTIONAL INTUITION</b>

The graph on the right represents your place in Intuition 2-Space. As you can see, you scored above average on emotional intuition and above average on scientific intuition. (Weirdly, your emotional and scientific intuitions are equally strong.)

Your Emotional Intuition score is a measure of how well you understand people, especially their unspoken needs and sympathies. A high score score usually indicates social grace and persuasiveness. A low score usually means you're good at Quake.

Your Scientific Intuition score tells you how in tune you are with the world around you; how well you understand your physical and intellectual environment. People with high scores here are apt to succeed in business and, of course, the sciences.


Try my other test!
The 3 Variable Funny Test
It rules.






My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:


free online dating free online dating
 You scored higher than 99% on Scientific

free online dating free online dating
 You scored higher than 99% on Interpersonal
Link: The 2-Variable Intuition Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test
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Dec. 19th, 2006 @ 12:06 pm (no subject)
You scored as Nebuchadnezzar (from The Matrix). You can change the world around you. You have a strong will and a high technical aptitude. Now if only Agent Smith would quit beating up your friends.


Coming on December 1, 2005:

Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? The Sequel

</td>

Galactica (from Battlestar: Galactica)

69%

Nebuchadnezzar (from The Matrix)

69%

Serenity (from Firefly)

63%

Millennium Falcon (from Star Wars)

56%

SG-1 (from Stargate)

38%

Moya (from Farscape)

38%

Bebop (from Cowboy Bebop)

31%

Enterprise D (from Star Trek)

25%

Which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? v1.0
created with QuizFarm.com
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Dec. 19th, 2006 @ 11:54 am (no subject)
You Are Lightning

Beautiful yet dangerous
People will stop and watch you when you appear
Even though you're capable of random violence

You are best known for: your power

Your dominant state: performing
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Nov. 28th, 2005 @ 02:28 pm freakin hilarious!!!
omg read this...awesomeness

www.factualmaterial.com/douchebag.htm

you shall thank me by commenting
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Nov. 17th, 2005 @ 12:44 am (no subject)
guys suck...that is all i need to say...
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Oct. 28th, 2005 @ 11:46 pm (no subject)
i'm bored...
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Jul. 23rd, 2005 @ 01:24 pm (no subject)
very very bored...


.::. Curious? .::.


Directions:
1. Go to my userinfo page.
2. Pick one person on my friends list you're curious about.
3. Comment with their username.
4. And I will tell all about them (I reserve the right to determine what constitutes "tell all about them").
5. Now post this in your journal, see who is curious about whom.
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Jul. 11th, 2005 @ 11:03 am (no subject)
Take the quiz: "What kind of eyes do you have? (with pictures)"

Eden
You have eden eyes. Eden is the color of water. Your eyes symbolize your great flexibility. You are a creative person. You can think of many good ways to get your point across to people as you have very good communication abilities. When someone feels down or is hurt, you have the remarkable ability to help them and heal them. If you have too little going on in your life, you may be withdrawn and depressed, timid, manipulative, unreliable, stubborn, or suspicious. Some words to describe you: peaceful, sincere, affectionate, tranquil, intuitive, trustworthy, pure, loyal, healing, and stable.


[[sorry andrew, i read ur comment but i deleted the entry cuz it didnt have the picture so i went and got the picture and did it that way. sorry babe...but i read it! lol..later..]]
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Jun. 7th, 2005 @ 11:54 pm (no subject)
What Makes You.. by SheBangs12
Your name?
Your gender?
What makes you sexy?Your eyes
What makes you pretty?Your figure
What makes you loveable?How sensitive you are
What makes you fun?Your sense of humor
What makes you irresistable?Your voice
What makes you cute?How you talk
Quiz created with MemeGen!



^^damn right ^^
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